Nare Bejanyan was compelled to move from Yerevan to Rostov-na-Don when she was 15 years old. However, the lack of ��?Armenianness’, her inner fears and the discrepancy between her Armenian identity and life in a foreign land brought her back to the homeland.

Hayern Aysor’s correspondent talked about the difficulties with speaking and thinking in Armenian in a foreign land, the warmth of Yerevan and the love for Armenia in an interview with the young repatriate.

Hayern Aysor: Nare, why did your family move to Russia? How did the 15-year-old girl take the news about the move?

Nare Bejanyan: Leaving Armenia was my parents’ decision. At the time, they didn’t see a future for their children in the homeland. I understand them because after the 1990s, Armenians wanted to get on their feet, become established and earn money. As my parents’ child, I don’t have the right to blame them. In any case, they took that step for our welfare.

However, I didn’t come to grips with the thought of leaving right from the very first day. I was in a heavy emotional state. Everything had fallen apart in my inner world. I didn’t want to leave my Armenia. I was constantly crying. My father told me to write the following on a piece of paper: “I reject my father for Armenia”. And I did. For a couple of years, my father would tell others about that with anger, but now, he remembers it with a feeling of pride.

That was how precious my homeland was for me, and it is more precious now. I also remember how my mother would promise that we would return after a year. Of course, she was saying that in order to excite me and help bring me out of my heavy emotional state. One year lasted long until I set my longtime dream and desire as a goal, and that goal was to return to Armenia.

The longing kept suffocating me for years. This might seem pathetic, but those who have been cut off from their native land for at least a couple of days will understand me well.

Hayern Aysor: What was in for you there? I assume you had a problem with continuing your education in a Russian school.

N. B.: I attended a Russian school in the last three years. Of course, it was hard for me to express myself in a foreign language, but I overcame the language barrier through communication. After graduating from school, I got accepted to one of the law schools of the city and graduated. I worked by my profession for a while, but I was also a member of one of the Armenian youth organizations in Rostov. After a while, I became the leader of that organization.

I loved my job because it gave me the opportunity to communicate with people and intellectuals with connections in Armenia, as well as smart and patriotic youth. To a certain extent, this helped me deal with the problem of longing for my Armenia. At the same time, I was also a correspondent for the Doni Nakhichevan newspaper of Rostov.

Hayern Aysor: But it’s impossible for a young Armenian wishing to live as an Armenian to not face problems, difficulties and discrepancies while living far away from the homeland. Which of those difficulties would you set aside?

N. B.: The major problem was the lack of the opportunity to live as an Armenian. The second problem is the risk of losing the language. I left Armenia with basic knowledge of Armenian. For children having emigrated at a young age, they have a problem with speaking in Armenian and preserving the language in a foreign environment.

Years ago, I read a book that contained the following interesting phase: “A person pertains to the language in which he thinks.” I thought about that and realized that I think in Russian. From that moment, I had inner fears.

Hayern Aysor: Nare, are there many patriotic youth like you in Rostov? What does the local Armenian community do to help them preserve their national identity?

N. B.: There are many patriotic youth, but few of them intend to return to the homeland. The Armenian community of Rostov is actively involved in preserving the Armenian identity. In addition to events, the community also organizes meetings with lecturers, experts and intellectuals from Armenia.

For instance, Mher Hovhannisyan, who is a dedicated expert, visits Rostov every year, does everything possible to interest young Armenians, awaken in them their identity and dignity and introducing them to Armenian history and culture.

However, the youth also need to be interested and have the desire, but that is not always the case. I feel bad about that. The community organizes may events for preservation of the Armenian identity, but there are always few participants. The community also has a virtual Armenian college, and there are Armenian Sunday schools adjunct to all Armenian churches. I believe if Armenians want, they can even preserve their national identity on foreign land.

Hayern Aysor: Nare, this summer will mark a year since you returned. How did your friends and acquaintances react to your intention?

N. B.: The people around me today are mainly my childhood friends. Of course, they were happy for my return. I also have contacts with repatriates and the youth of Armenia. They inspire me.

Hayern Aysor: What obstacles do you face in Armenia? Has you ever regretted returning for a second?

N. B.: I am far away from my family. I have never lived alone. Of course, it is difficult, but I knew why I was coming and had prepared myself for all the potential difficulties. If I looked at the reality in Armenia with rose-colored glasses, it would have been harder for me, but I predicted what would happen.

Here I feel mentally relaxed. I lived a good life in Russia, but human relations in Russia are different. The Russians are cold and their relations are of a different quality, and we Armenians are used to being more cordial to each other.

I felt the lack of the Armenian language, Armenian friends and an Armenian environment. Although I have communicated with many Armenians due to my job over the past couple of years, I can feel all that in Armenia. I wake up, open the window, see my country and feel peaceful. This might be details for someone, but they help me feel mentally relaxed. The only problem is employment.

Hayern Aysor: Nare, you also participated in the “Diaspora” Summer School Program of the RA Ministry of Diaspora last summer. What do you remember? What did you get out of the program?

N. B.: Of course, my greatest achievement was my new acquaintances, as well as the knowledge that I gained and the interesting memories. I have always wanted to communicate with Diaspora Armenian youth to understand how they live and how they earn a living.

Hayern Aysor: Nare, you are an Armenian who feels pain for Armenia. What would you change here?

N. B.: I would change the already justified Armenian saying “You have to stay wherever you can earn a living”. It has become a justification. There are a lot of people complaining. Everyone is talking about patriotism, but they don’t provide the basic care for their homeland.

Despite all this, Armenia is still a warm country where people are already ready to extend a helping hand. Even my Russian friends have noticed this when visiting Armenia.

Hayern Aysor: Nare, when you take a glance back at the life that you have lived, what would you like to change or edit?

N. B.: I believe I would definitely try to live away from Armenia again because it is living on a foreign land that made me understand the value of the homeland in a new way. I want to be an Armenian in Armenia. Here is where I see the brilliant future ahead of me.

Amalya Karapetyan

4^th year student of the Faculty of Journalism at Yerevan State University